Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Randomize
