i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My bed smells like the plague
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
