idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
