And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
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He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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