he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
