is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize