I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
