Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
