Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
