I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
