Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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