Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
