Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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