I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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