We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
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Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
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To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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