The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
