garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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