i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
