i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
