Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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