I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's just like the Real World with babies
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
