I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize