i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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