Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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