I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
