C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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