Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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