just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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