Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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