Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
there is puke in my bra ... again
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