your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I need moral support for this bender
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
