I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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