the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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