So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
