I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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