I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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