Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
