Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
