Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
