Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize