U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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