pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
