Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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