yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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