His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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