I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
