My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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