I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
