so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
