Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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