mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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