No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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