If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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