Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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