he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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