Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
