btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
