Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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